When you are facing a setback, be your own best friend.

You may have heard that before, the latest research shows that  you can and really should make the effort to be your own bestie.  Self-compassion may be more important than self-esteem. Your self-esteem often hinges on your beliefs of how you are doing compared to others.  Self-compassion is about recognizing that you are suffering just like everyone else and that you to deserve kindness. Some people see this as a weakness, but being supportive to ourselves is a great strength.  Self-compassion helps us to cope better when going through life’s challenges.

A few suggestions for using sympathetic self-talk.

1. Address yourself.  Refer to yourself in the second person, as it helps you to step outside the situation.  A few examples – ” You’re allowed to your feelings.” ” You’re just feeling the stress of this thing.”  “You’re going to be okay.”
2. Try a nickname.  Call yourself by a term of endearment.  It will give you a sense of being cared for by a loving friend.  It may feel a little strange, but honey no one will know but you.
3. Use a loving gesture.  Humans respond to physical touch.  Using loving touch can calm you and aid you in talking yourself through a bad moment.  Try putting your hand on your heart.