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Dealing With Rejection

Everyone has been rejected a some point in life.  It is part of the human experience.  We all lose friends, get turned down for a date, don’t get the job or promotion. It happens.  It hurts. It can send you into depression if you don’t handle it well.  So here are some ideas on how to handle it well.

Allow yourself to be upset.  Take a time out.  Stay in tonight, watch old movies and eat chocolate. Maybe you will need to call in sick tomorrow and cry all day.   However, going overboard with this will lead to depression.  There is no reason why rejection should bring your life to a halt.  Give yourself a little grieving time, but have a get up and go day planned early.

Talk to a friend you can trust.  A friend who can help you sort out what went wrong.  Who will tell you if there is something you need to change or if there is nothing you could have done.  Sometimes rejection is a sign that we need to change.  Sometimes there is something we could change, but shouldn’t.  95% of the time it is about them not you.

Don’t take it personally.  Like I just said it is usually about them.  They are saying no to something that doesn’t work for them.  That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you or them.  It just means this doesn’t work.  Believe them when they say, “It’s not you, it’s me.”  They are telling the truth.   Say to yourself and others, ” it didn’t work out,”  there is a better relationship or job out there for me.”  This is reframing and more helpful than telling yourself and others there is something wrong with you.

Stay away from airing your pain and grievances on social media.  You don’t need new friends or employers reading about your past heartaches.

Start putting it behind you quickly.  There an old saying about when you get bucked off a horse you right back on, immediately. This is good advise for dealing with rejection. Go out with friends.  Get back on the job hunt.  Don’t let it destroy your self-esteem.  Don’t let it stop you from living.

About Geraldine M. Brown MS, LPC, LIMHP (162 Articles)
I hold a Master's Degree in counseling. I am a licensed professional counselor and a licensed independent mental health practitioner. I have over 25 years of experience counseling people from all walks of life.

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