Forgiveness is about us moving on from the past. Forgiveness isn’t about condoning wrongdoing. It’s not about us deciding that what the other person did is OK. It isn’t about letting them off the hook. It is about letting us off the hook. Releasing us from the negativity, resentment, and bitterness.
Yes, I know what you are thinking. “I have heard all that before.” “You have no idea what that *&^%$&^%* did to me!” “WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE THAT *&^$*&#!*@!!!”
- If we hold on to the pain, hurt, anger, and resentment we do sometimes hurt the person who wronged us. The truth is we do far more damage to ourselves. To our physical and mental health.
- Choosing to replay the wrong that was done to us keeps us from living and enjoying today. It keeps us tied to the past.
- Confucius once said, “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” Even if you don’t actively seek revenge that spirit of anger and the desire for revenge drops you into a hole.
- Forgiveness helps us regain our power. Anger, hatred, resentment, and regret towards that person, means we are giving up our power to them. Think about it as a chain around your neck that is held in the hand of the person who hurt you. Forgiveness it the only way to break the chain. Until you find a way to accept that they made a mistake, that they too are human, or that they just aren’t worth the cost to you; this person will have a hold on you. The anger and hurt will jerk that chain keeping you from moving forward, having good relationships with others, and being happy.
Forgiveness will set you free. It will give you back your positive light. Show yourself some compassion, by showing your offender some. Accept they are imperfect human beings, as we all are. Let yourself off that chain. Stop thinking about what happened. Stop planning revenge. Stop talking about what happened over and over again. Stop picking that scab and let yourself heal. Say it over and over again that you forgive, even if you must say it with clinched teeth in the beginning. Believe me it is worth the effort.